Some think that it is just another anxiety disorder, which is true in a sense. We get anxious and have panic attacks due to our OCD but the anxiety does not define what it truly is like to suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Behaviour. If it truly was just down to dealing with the anxiety, we would not have such a battle on our hands because we could just take medication to help with symptoms of anxiety. There really is some great anxiety prevention medication out there nowadays. Yet, for us with OCD, merely blocking or dealing with the anxiety does not stop the rest of our disorder from taking over our lives.
If you really want to define OCD, you can refer to it as a continuous cycle disorder. We are bombarded with intrusive thoughts or obsessions which will then trigger a physical response in our bodies because the thoughts are seen as truth in our reality, thus a real danger and threat we must react to. So our anxiety and fear can trigger a very strong response in our body that some call fight or flight. Now the problem is that more often then not, the threat our minds are obsessing over is really just an illusion or futuristic possibility. Therefore, how can we really diffuse it?
Sadly, we can't, so we do other things which we believe can control the situation brewing. These mental or physical behaviours that we perform are known as compulsions or compulsive behaviour. It helps at that moment to bring our anxiety back to manageable levels, letting us continue with our day - right up until we become sucked up into another cycle of obsessive-compulsive behaviour. And around and around it goes. This is called getting stuck.
From my perspective and personal experience in dealing with my OCD, there is no one way to define it because each of us varies in our obsessions and compulsions. There are so many different things that we each become stuck on in our lives. Even to say OCD is mainly a contamination phobia would be wrong. You could view so many things as a contaminate - germs, touch, life, relationships, etc. Therefore, even trying to explain it into one category of fear would be incorrect. I myself am not only dealing with contamination fears but also harm, social, superstitious and then some uncategorized fears too. So to try to define anyone's OCD illness into a single category is sometimes impossible.
All I can state for a fact is that OCD is a very severe and consuming disorder that focuses on fear and anxiety, and yet is also so much more than just that.
It is a mental illness that encroaches on physical health too with different obsessional fears that make us react in physiological and harmful ways in some cases. We cycle through the parts of disease in a continuous pattern of thought, anxiety, compulsion, and relief that even we sometimes don't notice while in the midst of our struggle. We will repeat things often, ask for reassurances, avoid, and ritualize so many things throughout our lives, that it becomes our normal.
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is part of life for us. We will all fight different battles in our recovery based on what we see as priorities in our life. Anything we find important - our goals, dreams, and hobbies - are fair game to our OCD. It tends to target those important aspects of our life and of course, that is different from person to person.
One of my major setbacks in regards to my OCD was my education. I loved to learn new things and aspired to keep learning for as long as I could with my continued education in University. Yet, my OCD started to attack this area in my life in roundabout ways. First was the germs which were already a huge issue for me, especially when it came to food. But then, it began affecting my ability to interact in crowds and sit in public areas, like a chair in a lecture hall. Anxiety would escalate. Panic attacks became the norm. It reached a point that I stopped attending class and have still not been able to return, though it has been almost three years now.
OCD is a personal journey and but thankfully one that can be shared with others.
I have decided that for me, OCD is and has been my life. It has not been easy to handle but it has shaped who I am. I am also more than just OCD though, I am a person just like everyone else with dreams and goals. I have challenges I have to face that tend to be due to my OCD but that being said, doesn't everyone have to overcome obstacles or challenges throughout their own lives?
