Why do our Obsessional Fears Continue?

Obsessions Part Three

We now know that Obsessions occur through various means and that it has been observed that most people also have the same triggers as we do, yet do not suffer from ruminations. Our Obsessions begin with that intrusive, unwanted thought and instead of dismissing the thought we dwell on it. We put a certain amount of significance and importance to the thought that makes it meaningful to us in one way or another. As that simple intrusive thought grows in our mind, our body is also starting to take notice of what our brain is telling us. That this thought is or will become dangerous, not just to ourselves but sometimes we will focus on the thought becoming a danger for our loved ones. So, that is why we begin the OCD cycle. We will truly start to believe in this thought and all the possible effects on our lives. Our body is led by our mind, so when we are obsessing in this thought, our body will automatically start to detect for danger and prepare itself to respond - usually that means the flight or fight response. 

This all happens because we misinterpret many of our intrusive thoughts and become threatened by them. The concept of harm or any other type of danger our brains can come up with become associated with the obsessional thoughts. Every one of us responds differently with our Obsessions and it is actually how we respond that makes these fears either continue or disappear. 

We can avoid. Most of us tend to do this one without even thinking. Remember, the intrusive thought can be anything: a place, object, image, person, situation, etc. The discomfort and anxiety that we endure when around, doing, or thinking about our new obsessions makes us want to run. Why must we put ourselves through the pain of feeling as if our life was in danger if we could just avoid it? No more heart pounding, hyperventilating, stomach pain, shakiness, or dizziness. All of this accomplished by simply avoiding the danger that the intrusive thought we had led us to understand as truth. But really, when we avoid and find ways around our obsession we are just reinforcing that there was, in fact, danger and we "saved" ourselves by avoiding it all. This builds the fear in our head because the connection between the obsessional fear and our avoidance strengthens it. The reason being that even though we are avoiding it, it still takes effort and thus brings more attention to this fear. Even if you are the most logical person on the planet or even the most rational - you will start to accept that it is, in fact, important and life-threatening. The fear that is often times a mistaken or highly irrational, we still fall for it thanks to our OCD.

Oh, OCD has a way of making your logic and rational thoughts shift so that you end up defending why you must avoid and be so hyper-aware of the obsessional fear at all times. It is as if our mind, which OCD has invaded has moved us into another reality where every possibility of danger is right around every corner. That we must control things even when it's actually our fear that is controlling us. Our lives are discarded as we slowly retreat, all the while believing that nothing is actually wrong because we are doing the right thing. The safe option. That we are protecting ourselves and our loved ones by making sure to be overly watchful, always on guard for more possible things that are to be avoided too. This all just makes our mental illness so much worse. We may have started with one intrusive thought that led to becoming an Obsessional Fear. Yet, now we are at this point where that first one has grown to encompass so much more, limiting us in life and allowing us to misinterpret more intrusive thoughts. All because we validated that Obsessional Fear by avoiding everything that caused us discomfort, anxiety, or to worry.

The other factor that makes our Obsessional Fears continue and grow is our Compulsions. Yes, the second letter in the acronym for OCD is Compulsive for it is the glue that keeps us in our OCD cycle of Obsession, anxiety, compulsion, and relief. Without our rituals and rules, we would then have to face down the Obsessional Fears and all the physical symptoms that it throws at us - the distress and anxiety that our bodies are forced to endure. So, when our Obsessional Fears are forming and gaining more ground in wearing our mind and body's reaction down...

For our Mind, OCD has made it so that instead of rationally analyzing this intrusive thought, OCD has slowly trained our mind to alter rationality and use logical responses into proof of the impact this Obsessional Fear will have if nothing is done.

For our Body, OCD has used our natural response to danger, fear, or any other feeling and action that triggers that flight or fight reaction to occur. But it didn't stop there, it twisted this reaction into more of an anxiety inducing response. When our natural flight or fight reaction occurs, it is true that our adrenaline will increase in order to give us all the energy we will need to respond to the danger. The thing is, adrenaline causes your heart to speed up and this is one of the main symptoms of anxiety and panic attacks. All OCD had to do was increase the pressure of the thought of danger and BOOM. We have converted the natural bodies reaction, into our own painful and scary (at times) anxiety and discomfort that we get by having that intrusive thought misinterpreted into an Obsessional Fear.

The Compulsions come in so sneakily in most cases. We will get triggered by the Obsessional Fear and, if we can't avoid or a compulsive behaviour is instantaneous, we look for relief. Now as I just mentioned compulsions can happen as soon as we are hit with the anxiety - a quick tapping, moving in a certain way, mental reassurances or mental rituals. Anything that brings our anxiety down almost as quickly as it arose is considered a compulsion. Some compulsions though take time and a lot of OCD prompting to form. For instance, the Obsessional Fear of intruders entering your house can lead to checking, not sleeping, performing a certain number of lock flicks, etc. And while that all might be about relief from these intrusive thoughts and anxiety, it is doing the same thing as avoidance does. Every time you do a compulsive behaviour to gain relief - I also refer to my compulsive behaviour as neutralizations (momentary numbing of the bad feelings) - is actually telling our brain that all its thoughts and hyper-focusing on this Obsessional Fear was justified. We made it through the danger, safe and sound.

That is why many people struggle with overcoming their OCD. Our natural responses that, on the surface, seem logical and can be argued make sense, is actually causing our Obsessional Fears to grow stronger and incorporate more and more into it. Avoidance and Compulsions are the reinforcing aspects that even I was unaware of until I researched the workings of OCD.

This may become overwhelming because you start to look at everything you do or don't do that was because of your OCD. Knowing this, you may try to stop it all but that is just impossible. Especially if your OCD has had years to train your mind and body to accept the altered reality in which danger could be anywhere and everywhere. There is no easy starting point in taking on this massive beast but that is why Exposure and Response Prevention Therapy was developed. It will take time, trial and error, and a lot of energy to go against your own instincts, yet it can be done.

If you want to know more right away about ERP - Exposure and Response Prevention Therapy then look on our resource page. There are links to articles, websites, and other information to start you off. Also if you are looking for treatment, click on the link to the Center for Cognitive Behaviour Therapy if you are in the Edmonton region for they specialize in ERP treatment, otherwise the International OCD Foundation page has a wonderful search feature that can point you in the right direction.

I am also going to be focusing our next blog post on ERP. So check back next week to learn more!

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But if this is all new to you, explore the links I have on this site. Join my Facebook Page (Journal Entries of People with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) where you can ask questions, read tidbits of my story or post your own story. Because remember, we are a community - slowly growing - that is here to support and hopefully guide you to all the help, information, and outside supports you deserve to have in your fight with OCD. 

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#MentalHealthAwareness