What are Obsessions?

Obsessions Part Two

In order for us to fully understand why an Obsession can occur, we have to discuss those myths I mentioned previously...

• Magical Thinking Myth: This is where a person with OCD will believe that just because they thought of something - anything - that it will happen. A lot of times our thoughts or behaviours will be considered illogical. It is because we tend to be separate or isolated from others and form our own reality in which many things that you know to be true and have logic to back it up - well your OCD will still tend to twist it around to make it where you still are forced into the cycle of OCD. 

Reminder - Obsessions ➡ Anxiety➡ Compulsions➡ Relief ➡ And Repeat!

So this myth is an illogical one, yet most of us still have to work on it to stop us from believing it to be true. Magical Thinking is exactly as it sounds, that there is a connection between your thought on an event and the likeliness of it actually happen. We all know that we can't predict the future and that our choices and actions determine what happens next. Not our thoughts. Our thoughts cannot just make something happen. How often does something you think about truly come to be? You think of having cancer - will it happen? Who knows. There is no way for us to predict these things yet we reinforce these predictions/thoughts by our feelings and the way our body reacts - anxious, worried, etc.  Eventually building into an obsession. We do not look at the valid evidence that suggests otherwise because we have already entered the OCD cycle and we are going to have to break it before we can stop this easy to fall for mistake from occurring again.

• Having Control over your Thoughts : This one is the one I struggle with the most. It's where you think that in order to manage your OCD all you have to do it control your thoughts. For, if you don't have one of your intrusive thoughts then you won't have to feel the anxiety or perform the compulsion. It is the belief that, by controlling the thoughts in your head, your OCD is cured. This is seriously not true. Because for one, there is no possible way you can control every thought that flows through your mind. It has been proven, that we as humans are very poor at controlling our thoughts. Another fact is, we have millions of thoughts, ideas, images, etc. that our brain processes daily. How are we to find the source of where all these things come from to stop it - to control it? It really is not possible. The risk with this belief for people with OCD is something called Thought Suppression. It's where we find our Obsessional thoughts or a specific unwanted thought and try to stop ourselves from having them. This only increases the chance of us having to deal with this thought for even if we were to suppress it for awhile, we are actually still thinking about it in order to keep it back. So the result of this is that thought coming back but now we have made this connection to this specific thought with reason for not wanting to think about it. So our OCD will consider it a threat, making us more and more anxious - thus the OCD cycle will begin. 

• It is BAD to have BAD thoughts : Now this myth is simply not true. As I have pointed out, we as humans have millions of thoughts go through our heads when we are both awake and sleeping. Now, if we believed that not even one of those thoughts we had was bad that would be simply miraculous. Yes, everyone has bad thoughts. It's what helped the creative sector - like books, films, artwork - grow. There are books and movies based on bad things happening. Artwork with the pain and suffering of the artist on display. The thing with bad thoughts is our ability to think it through. We are fortunate to be able to think about anything we want and decide on the course of action based on our thoughts. We are not forced into having to act on our  thoughts. So for us with OCD, these thoughts might become an obsessions because we see them as a threat and will be anxious having to deal with them. Yet, everyone has unpleasant thoughts about actions or objects that are considered bad and even with these thoughts most don't act on them or they are just random thoughts that were triggered in our heads by something around us. People with OCD will struggle a lot in this area because, yes, these thoughts could be a threat if acted on or even just having to be stuck on such a thought will make your body react. Anxiety, shame, guilt, and worry will be present in these moments but do not think that you alone suffer from these thoughts. We all have them, even me. Nobody is spared from having bad thoughts and just because we do have these thoughts does not mean it is bad. It is just normal. You are just a normal human dealing with thoughts the same as everyone else. The only difference is, that we will have to deal with the consequences our OCD does to us with these thoughts. 

What are Obsessions?

Obsessions Part One

The first letter in OCD stands for obsession.  It is the first step in our cycle that leads us to struggle with anxiety and forcing us to perform compulsions to gain relief. Obsessions can be anything and come in many different forms - intrusive thoughts, ideas, memories, or images. So, it is mostly anything that can filter through your head, even normal thoughts which OCD latches onto and gives a misinterpreted significance to that tends to be threatening. 

Our Obsessions usually always make us anxious, worried, or just over-all uncomfortable. The reason for this is because of the importance we put onto the thought our Obsession form around. We will become stuck on the idea and start to add in the possibility that it could be dangerous or harmful to ourselves. Or the opposite being that it could become a danger or bring harm to lose around us - like our families or friends.

Here's a basic model of how an Obsession could develop:

Normal intrusive thought  ➨  Misinterpret as significant or threatening  ➨   Anxiety 

So with this basic layout in mind, let's develop a bit of a better understanding of all the intricate parts that are in play for people with OCD for their Obsessions to form.

One of the most ironic and funny facts about how our Obsessions form is that it is from thoughts - yes intrusive thoughts - and yet everybody else also deals with this too. A myth surrounding this is that it is bad to have bad thoughts even though everyone will have them throughout a day. We are human and are able to think about anything we want because they are private from others unless we decide to share. It does not mean we will act on these thoughts or that they will come true. The difference for us is we become stuck on these thoughts - be it a bad thought or just a random thought - and our bodies will then react as if impending doom is lurking right around the corner. Our brains are always going and will filter through many bizarre or senseless scenarios - even when we are sleeping.

The issue that we face is that it seems that our brains are wired to be in hyper-analyze mode - always looking for something that has even the slightest possibility to become a threat right now or in the future. It's really just an intolerance to uncertainty and lack of control that affects us and makes the obsessions to occur. For there is nothing, absolutely nothing that is 100% safe or assured. Thus, even if we could predict what will become an obsession for those of us who suffer, making a cure for our illness easier to acquire due to only having that one trigger is impossible. Obsession are endless, making OCD a very huge and varied illness that takes over anything in our life that it can. As long as we can think it, our OCD can claim it. So really, any thought can lead us in starting our cycle of OCD.

1. A thought of spiders before bedtime
2. A thought a becoming sick when someone sneezes
3. A thought of crashing while in the car
4. A thought of sinning because you lied
5. A thought of your relationship failing 
6. A thought of losing all your money
7. A thought that the chair is not straight

Everyone has these thoughts, yet we make them into obsessions. Based on the thoughts above we can have obsessions like...

1. Contamination Obsession or Harm Obsession due to spider touching you or ingesting while sleeping
2. Contamination Obsession - germs
3. Harm Obsessions and it could also lead to a Checking/Repetitive Obsession
4. Religious Obsession
5. Relationship Obsession or Superstitious Obsession or even a Nonsensical Doubt Obsession
6. Saving/Hoarding Obsession
7. Symmetry Obsession 

There are so many different myths surrounding how our thoughts can turn into an Obsession that to explain all in depth will have to wait. Though, here are some of the main ones that I have yet to cover: magical thinking, control your thoughts, automatically act on their thoughts, etc. 

The amount of misinformation about mental health is immense and then to try to find information about a certain illness within the mental health sector is daunting. Well, you will be sifting through piles of theories, stereotypes, myths, one-sided stories and so much more. Even after being diagnosed with OCD, how many of you have been told you also suffer from other mental illness as well or could have traits of many more? Yet, I truly think that learning as much as possible is the way to make the road to mental health more accessible. If we all could try to explain what goes on in our brain to the people trying to help, who have no way to look inside our heads to fully understand, maybe one day there will be better treatments.

Until then, we plan to keep discussing and writing about things we DO understand in regards to OCD. So, if any of you need more information on something or can explain more on topics we post about, I again urge you to email it in or ask to become one of our writers. 

#MentalHealthAwareness

#OCD

  

Let's Bring About More Awareness...

Hi again,

You all know that there are many different myths and stigmas that surround mental health. I believe it is just because most people do not or can not understand the reality of what dealing with mental health actual means. Our path is definitely a foreign one that can be hard for others to understand. Even trying to explain it to one another can be confusing.

Mental illness is really a huge and diverse area in the health sector. From all the different disorders and then their intricate way they interact with each person's life.

Our Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is such a case. We all know and can understand the cycle we are stuck doing that limits our lives. Yet, within this huge disorder, there are so many different components that can change from person to person. We have already mentioned that people will have a different obsession that can be driven by what we find important in our lives. Another thing that makes each of our cases different is our reaction to the fear and anxiety our obsessions brings. We each have our own compulsions that we deal with. The range and diversity are truly beyond description. Many try to organize our obsessions and compulsions into categories yet ever I still find myself dealing with OCD driven behaviours that fall outside of these categories.

Obsessions:

• Contamination
• Harm
• Superstitious
• Religious
• Losing Control
• Unwanted Sexual Thoughts

These are just some of the common obsessions that are documented as causing a person with OCD to becoming consumed by the accompanying thoughts and feeling of distress. The thing is, though, that while a lot of our obsession do tend to fall with these categories, we also are apart of life and there are many things out there that can cause us to feel distressed and have the need to stress over. 

I myself have an obsession with my music. I used to love to play the trumpet and piano but now a can do neither. I at first thought that is had to be because they were just too contaminated, seeing as that was my main obsession I was being treated for. But it never sat right with me. I would look at my piano and just know I wasn't allowed to play it. Maybe it was some sort of superstitious obsession, but again that did not feel right. I am only now realizing that my obsession with my music had to do with failing and not being good enough. This was not on the sheet and test I filled out when being diagnosed. An obsession linked to failure. Definitely not one that you see in the categories when researching OCD. Yet, that is my obsession for the thoughts I have about playing again involve a lot of doubt and intrusive thoughts on not being good enough, no matter what.  

So you may have obsessions that you can't find the root cause because while research has been done, every OCD case is different. Most times, when looking for the information you will only find the 'common' reality of what it is to have OCD. Yet, life includes more the main six obsessions. Life is everywhere and everything. Meaning obsessions and the following compulsions can truly be anything you face in your life.

Therefore, it makes sense to me that many myths and stigmas have formed around our mental health disorder - OCD. How could it not, when even we have trouble figuring it out.

A very common stigma is actually about obsessing. People love to state how they are obsessed with something or other. Being 'obsessed' is so commonly used when people find things they love or want or hobbies. I am so obsessed with this new show...I am so obsessed lately with baking...I am so obsessing over that new song. It might not seem to be much of a stigma or harmful to us because I used to use that word many times too. But knowing know what it truly means to become obsessed with something that is causing distress and intrusive, all-consuming thoughts. Well, know hearing others who don't understand the impact it has on us who suffer from OCD makes me realize their use of that term invalidates our daily struggle. Yes, they may love something or need something they do obsess over it. But do they get anxious? Do they get stuck? Do they have to do compulsions in order to achieve or relieve themselves of said obsession?

The answer to that is no.

The stigmas surrounding our mental health disorder our many and also so very commonly used. People state that they are so OCD when performing a task. Or that they can't handle something due to being so OCD.

People mock their friends who may just be organized for being OCD.

Family members laugh and joke about an aunt or cousin who is a perfectionist and loves to keep things clean as being so OCD.

And since people use the term OCD in such a light and joking matter, it causes the stigma for those who suffer from this disorder to feel ashamed and invalidated for their struggle. As if it should be something that is easy to conquer and yet is actually quite debilitating.

That may be the reason many of us hide away our strange behaviour and anxious thoughts because we believe in the norm society has made around mental health. Nobody can see into our brains so whats the problem. Nobody knows of the battle we have to stage in order to get through the day, so again whats the problem. We do not have wounds that are seen or disease that can be diagnosed with blood tests, X-rays, or CT scans. The only way we can be discovered as being sick is by speaking up about what we are going through.

And that in itself is hard, thanks to the myths and stigmas that have accumulated around mental health. We have to be stronger and braver than all the words thrown around. The stares and disbelieving people who want us to not speak of it.

But if we can silently fight this sickness by ourselves, then we truly are strong enough to talk about it. Maybe its only to people you know who are also fighting the same battle you are or to a family member that has always been one to take up arms to join your fights.  Either or, speaking up and allowing yourself to become a bit vulnerable is the only way we will be able to bring about change.

Telling our stories will bring an end to the myths and stigmas as true facts on our disorder replace them. Awareness and acceptance will also be gained as more of us join together and tell the truth about what we go through. You all know that right now we can only be hopeful that we will be able to manage our mental health so that we can be apart of life. While this is true and yet, the treatment options are only as good as the understanding of the sickness. Change can be won by our bravery to talk about our struggles and experiences. It can also help for us to accept the challenges we will face in our life. Because acceptance will first come from accepting yourself before others learn as well.

Here's my question to you all - what stigmas or myths have you faced when dealing with your OCD? 

Send your answers via email or as a post here.  We'd also love to hear your stories! We want to hear from you all. Let us know what you want to talk about or learn about. Questions you may have or treatment options that may have helped. Please feel free to send them in. Use our contact form, and you can also respond to each post. If you are not ready to have your name linked to our discussion, there is an anonymous option for both email and comments. But either way, this blog is a safe place for all of us and there is still more to come!

How Would you Describe OCD?

Everyone struggles with defining their OCD.

Some think that it is just another anxiety disorder, which is true in a sense. We get anxious and have panic attacks due to our OCD but the anxiety does not define what it truly is like to suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Behaviour. If it truly was just down to dealing with the anxiety, we would not have such a battle on our hands because we could just take medication to help with symptoms of anxiety. There really is some great anxiety prevention medication out there nowadays. Yet, for us with OCD, merely blocking or dealing with the anxiety does not stop the rest of our disorder from taking over our lives.

If you really want to define OCD, you can refer to it as a continuous cycle disorder. We are bombarded with intrusive thoughts or obsessions which will then trigger a physical response in our bodies because the thoughts are seen as truth in our reality, thus a real danger and threat we must react to. So our anxiety and fear can trigger a very strong response in our body that some call fight or flight. Now the problem is that more often then not, the threat our minds are obsessing over is really just an illusion or futuristic possibility. Therefore, how can we really diffuse it?

Sadly, we can't, so we do other things which we believe can control the situation brewing. These mental or physical behaviours that we perform are known as compulsions or compulsive behaviour. It helps at that moment to bring our anxiety back to manageable levels, letting us continue with our day - right up until we become sucked up into another cycle of obsessive-compulsive behaviour. And around and around it goes. This is called getting stuck.



From my perspective and personal experience in dealing with my OCD, there is no one way to define it because each of us varies in our obsessions and compulsions. There are so many different things that we each become stuck on in our lives. Even to say OCD is mainly a contamination phobia would be wrong. You could view so many things as a contaminate - germs, touch, life, relationships, etc. Therefore, even trying to explain it into one category of fear would be incorrect. I myself am not only dealing with contamination fears but also harm, social, superstitious and then some uncategorized fears too. So to try to define anyone's OCD illness into a single category is sometimes impossible.

All I can state for a fact is that OCD is a very severe and consuming disorder that focuses on fear and anxiety, and yet is also so much more than just that.

It is a mental illness that encroaches on physical health too with different obsessional fears that make us react in physiological and harmful ways in some cases. We cycle through the parts of disease in a continuous pattern of thought, anxiety, compulsion, and relief that even we sometimes don't notice while in the midst of our struggle. We will repeat things often, ask for reassurances, avoid, and ritualize so many things throughout our lives, that it becomes our normal.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is part of life for us. We will all fight different battles in our recovery based on what we see as priorities in our life. Anything we find important - our goals, dreams, and hobbies - are fair game to our OCD. It tends to target those important aspects of our life and of course, that is different from person to person.

One of my major setbacks in regards to my OCD was my education. I loved to learn new things and aspired to keep learning for as long as I could with my continued education in University. Yet, my OCD started to attack this area in my life in roundabout ways. First was the germs which were already a huge issue for me, especially when it came to food. But then, it began affecting my ability to interact in crowds and sit in public areas, like a chair in a lecture hall. Anxiety would escalate. Panic attacks became the norm. It reached a point that I stopped attending class and have still not been able to return, though it has been almost three years now.

OCD is a personal journey and but thankfully one that can be shared with others.

I have decided that for me, OCD is and has been my life. It has not been easy to handle but it has shaped who I am. I am also more than just OCD though, I am a person just like everyone else with dreams and goals. I have challenges I have to face that tend to be due to my OCD but that being said, doesn't everyone have to overcome obstacles or challenges throughout their own lives?

Welcome and Introduction!

Hi everyone,

Welcome to our blog which is all about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Here we hope to help each other grow and manage our OCD by learning everything we can about it and sharing skills learned that will make us the boss of our minds once again.

If you are reading this, you must have a connection to this illness and have a desire to learn more. I  know from experience though, that it can effect more than just yourself. So I hope that not only will those who suffer from OCD join our community but anyone who is apart of your recovery or loved ones who want to help. All are welcome and we even encourage this so that you are not dealing with this heavy burden all on your own. It may be hard at first to open up to the people around you but the advantages of having help in dealing with your OCD is sure to sway you to choose to find someone to confide in.

This blog is made for everyone. Meaning, once everything is set up further, we hope to have people write in to us questions for a weekly posts and also hope that eventually you all will start to feel safe enough to share your own stories here or personal creative aspects you have done that displays what OCD is to you.

By now, most of you know that OCD is not only tenacious and controlling but also it can be very different from person to person. That is what makes it hard to diagnosis. All of us suffer from this disorder but we all have our own battles we wage against it due to the need to customize how we react to our illness with different obsessions and compulsions. The hope is that by standing up and talking about what we go through, we can help others still silently struggling or even start to break apart all the complex ways that makes up this disease.

Right now may be hard, but we all have dreams and hopes that push us to keep going. To fight against the restraints that OCD tries to bind us in. But sometimes it helps to have others to talk to who know the ins and outs of this disorder to help you. Some days all you need to hear is that - Yes! It is possible because look... - or just that even when you are stuck there is always a way out.

This blog is going to be public. Most posts will be done by our team of writers who deal with OCD too and have gotten through the worst of it. Other times we might post articles on things that could help in your life or events near you that you can take apart of. This is just going to be a home-base of sorts, for you all to find things or send in your own work to be posted. So ask your question, comment, subscribe, follow us on the AOCDF website, or write about your own story and send it in.

Anything is possible!

Be apart of our community and find out that there are many people out there who are going through the same thing that you are.